“Key bumps.” “Fax machines.” “Orgy.” “Sexual perversion.”
We’ve been gifted a fresh congressional cocaine/orgy/sex party news cycle, folks — a treasure we shall not waste.
Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC) has once again found himself in a steamy situation with his fellow House Republicans.
And this time, it’s because Cawthorn’s tossing around allegations that Congress is basically a Den Of Sin, filled with devious colleagues hellbent on trampling his innocence by inviting him to orgies and doing a bunch of blow, right in front of him!
But Cawthorn’s colleagues on the Hill doth protest (perhaps too much). And they’re calling on Cawthorn to put up or shut up.
According to Politico and CNN, House Republicans are mad at Cawthorn for “unfairly malign(ing) the entire institution,” and are calling on Cawthorn to name names to back up his cocaine and sex party accusations because, well, he’s ruining everyone’s sparkling reputation.
More on that in a second. Let’s rollback the tapes first:
The GOP furor over Cawthorn’s allegations follows his appearance on the “Warrior Poet Society” podcast last weekend. Cawthorn made the drugs and sex claims when asked whether the Netflix TV drama “House of Cards” — whose main character is a corrupt congressman with an elaborate plan to rise to power — paints a realistic portrayal of the D.C. political scene.
The young cherub Cawthorn cast himself as holier than his colleagues, most of whom are in their 60s and 70s and who supposedly have tried to taint his pure soul with their “sexual perversion.”
“I look at all these people, a lot of them that I’ve looked up to through my life, I’ve always paid attention to politics,” Cawthorn said. “Then all of the sudden you get invited to, ‘Well hey, we’re going to have kind of a sexual get together at one of our homes, you should come.’”
“I’m like, ‘What did you just ask me to come to do? And then you realize they are asking you to come to an orgy,” Cawthorn continued, before alleging that lawmakers who advocate for fighting against addiction have done “key bumps” of cocaine in front of him.
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) is reportedly planning to sit down with Cawthorn to talk about his wild allegations against his colleagues, according to Politico.
Multiple Republicans also reportedly expressed their frustration with Cawthorn during a closed-door House GOP conference meeting on Tuesday. Among the Republicans in the room who took offense to Cawthorn’s off kilter comments was Rep. Steve Womack (R-AR), who reportedly rarely speaks during the meetings, but couldn’t shake off the freshman congressman’s damaging allegations.
Womack’s response to Cawthorn? Lawmakers are too boring and ancient to commit such buffoonery in the first place.
According to Politico, Womack remarked that many lawmakers hit the hay at 9 p.m. and still use fax machines and flip phones — which apparently disqualifies them from participating in orgies or consuming cocaine.
Cawthorn’s latest incendiary remarks come just weeks after House Republicans pushed back on his comment calling Ukrainian President Volodmyr Zelensky a “thug” amid Russia’s unprovoked invasion of the country. Cawthorn was among the far-right lawmakers who parroted Russian President Vladimir Putin’s spin on the Ukrainian government, which he described as a “band of drug addicts and neo-Nazis who have holed up in Kyiv and taken the entire Ukrainian people hostage.”
Although McCarthy told reporters at the time that Cawthorn was “wrong” to call Zelensky a “thug,” the House minority leader said he still plans to support Cawthorn’s re-election bid.
